How Envy --> False Love
Sexual immorality is actually the fruit [that comes in part from a root] of envy and jealousy. How so? If one gives in/goes into adultery, pornography, fornication, masturbation, etc., it may be because they want something that is not rightfully theirs. In that moment, one is not content with their marital/singleness status [as belonging solely to Jesus the Bridegroom], so whenever they commit sexual sin, they are saying in their heart, “Jesus, You’re not good enough or satisfying enough for me. Your kind of self-sacrificial love that calls me deeper into relationship, humility, vulnerability and to have to deal with my issues is too ‘tough’ for me. Rather, I want to get this dopamine release through sex outside of marriage that other people get to enjoy but that is being withheld from me.”
By agreeing with the law/body of sin (see Romans 7:21-8:2; Ephesians 6:12) in thought and action, one is essentially saying in their heart/spirit, “Father, your way or thinking and commandments are not good; your promises and provision are maybe for somebody else but not for me. You’re a liar. Sexual immorality is what I think will satisfy me right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I hope You understand and are OK with that. Even if not, I’m going to do it anyway; maybe I’ll repent (changing the way I think to agree with the way You think) later. I’m not going to fellowship with the Holy Spirit by trusting that His power [love and self-control] is greater than the rush of dopamine that I can get by giving into temptation [or following the law of sin and death.]”
That attitude is not love; it is not remaining (or abiding) in Christ’s love. Love is patient and is not self-seeking; sexual immorality is impatient and is self-seeking, caring nothing about your Source nor for your Beloved. Trying to get love from created people or things will not even in the long-term benefit you nor the person you are selfishly taking advantage of in attempts to deal with your own pain.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [arrogant]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [keeps no accounts of evil]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
--1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. 5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” 6 so that we confidently say,“The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?”
--Hebrews 13:4-6 NASB
Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
--John 15:9 NASB
Therefore, my fellow believers, you too died to the Law through the [crucified] body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. 5 When we were living in the flesh [trapped by sin], the sinful passions, which were awakened by [that which] the Law [identifies as sin], were at work in our body to bear fruit for death [since the willingness to sin led to death and separation from God]. 6 But now we have been released from the Law and its penalty, having died [through Christ] to that by which we were held captive, so that we serve [God] in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter [of the Law].
--Romans 7:4-6 AMP
“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, [sexual immorality]fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 [meekness]gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
--Galatians 5:19-26 NKJV
If we find ourselves convicted that we’ve fallen short in an area of our lives here, there is great freedom for us, for we can change the way we think to agree with the way that God thinks. We can receive and swim in His great grace and love poured out over us, so that sin will not have dominion over us.
“For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, 6 knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be [rendered inoperative]done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. 7 For he who has died has been [cleared]freed from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, 9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. 10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. 11 Likewise you also, [consider]reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. 13 And do not present your members as [Or weapons]instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. 14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
--Romans 6:5-14 NKJV
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
33 They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?”
34 Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. 35 And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. 36 Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
--John 8:31-36 NKJV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
--Ephesians 1:3-6 NKJV
Here is a prayer that we could use in further continued conversations with God when we realize that we did things according the way that seemed right to us but that wasn't consistent with how God loves and thinks, and that doing so hasn't been working out for us very well:
1-2 God, give me mercy from your fountain of forgiveness! I know your abundant love is enough to wash away my guilt. Because your compassion is so great, take away this shameful guilt of sin. Forgive the full extent of my rebellious ways, and erase this deep stain on my conscience.
3–4 For I’m so ashamed. I feel such pain and anguish within me. I can’t get away from the sting of my sin against you, Lord! Everything I did, I did right in front of you, for you saw it all. Against you, and you above all, have I sinned. Everything you say to me is infallibly true and your judgment conquers me. 5 Lord, I have been a sinner from birth, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6 I know that you delight to set your truth deep in my spirit. So come into the hidden places of my heart and teach me wisdom.
7 Purify my conscience! Make this leper clean again! Wash me in your love until I am pure in heart. 8 Satisfy me in your sweetness, and my song of joy will return. The places within me you have crushed will rejoice in your healing touch. 9 Hide my sins from your face; erase all my guilt by your saving grace. 10 Create a new, clean heart within me. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you. 11 May you never reject me! May you never take from me your sacred Spirit!
12 Let my passion for life be restored, tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me. Hold me close to you with a willing spirit that obeys whatever you say. 13 Then I can show to other guilty ones how loving and merciful you are. They will find their way back home to you, knowing that you will forgive them. 14 O God, my saving God, deliver me fully from every sin, even the sin that brought bloodguilt. Then my heart will once again be thrilled to sing the passionate songs of joy and deliverance! 15 Lord God, unlock my heart, unlock my lips, and I will overcome with my joyous praise! 16 For the source of your pleasure is not in my performance or the sacrifices I might offer to you. 17 The fountain of your pleasure is found in the sacrifice of my shattered heart before you. You will not despise my tenderness as I humbly bow down at your feet. 18 Because you favor Zion, do what is good for her. Be the protecting wall around Jerusalem. 19 And when we are fully restored, you will rejoice and take delight in every offering of our lives as we bring our sacrifices of righteousness before you in love!
--Psalm 51 TPT